Today I have a very important announcement to share. I can no longer hide the truth within my heart. I cannot find inspiration from vampires anymore, and since I was banned for life at the local goat ranch due to one fainting incident…. I present to you my exciting new release:
Just when you thought you'd seen enough Amish revenge thrillers… one more enters the fray:
For one long, lonely year Jedidiah Smuckers has walked the land, mourning the loss of his one true love – Destiny Lovegood. However, his life turns on a water wheel as he learns that Destiny wasn't mauled in a tragic water-skiing misadventure, but rather abducted by the local slumlord's second cousin – Lord Malcolm Tent.
How can Jedidiah live knowing that Destiny is just beyond his reach? How can he resist the temptation of Betsy Biglesbottom, the local calving expert that ran off to get her degree in nuclear physics despite the objections of the elders? But, most of all how can he live knowing that his own brother's life depends on their community winning the county building jamboree.
There is only one thing he can do, one true test left of his resolve. He must conquer his greatest fear and take up the hammer again…
Raising the Barn!
I'm sure you guys can't wait to see this latest release from Smeadly Smut Press. Coming June 31st, 2017!
Read the book that the critics call "mind-blowingly brainless" and "completely without redeeming qualities." J.K. Rowling's second cousin twice removed even said: "if I never read anything else, it's because R. E. Carr so thoroughly ruined the English language."
Look for Raising the Barn sold everywhere, just like Table Talk pies…
But since I love you all. Here is a slight tease from Raising the Barn.
Betsy looked up at him, up at his bulging biceps as he forced the square peg into the round hole on the joist. She marveled at the way the late August wind swept through his beard, the way it teased and taunted each strand until it tufted into a mighty mane. "Why it's like Don King sat upon his face and ate cotton candy," she thought. "I am going to marry this man one day."
Sadly, Betsy's formal education had not cured her of her tragic affliction – her utter lack of inner monologue.
"Betsy, you may be as fine as gold horseshoes, and sweet as cream straight from a Jersey's teat, but I can never think of you that way so long as there is even a chance that my Destiny awaits," Jedidiah sighed as he looked up from his work. "For as long as there is breath in my body and NCIS on TV, my heart shall remain forever true."
It was at that moment that the spaceship landed…
Find out more in Raising the Barn, and stay tuned for an extra special treat, a preview of She Would Push My Buttons if I Could Only Wear Them… the final installment of the Jedidiah Smuckers Saga… for now!
Oh and R. E. Carr might also be working on something for the Rules Undying series this year, and having her sci-fi epic The Download on preorder Monday (we hope!), but who cares about that in the midst of so many fantastic (barn) erections?