Summoning My Inner Gollum

“I wants the readers to leave me reviews!”

“No, I don’t want to know…”

“But if we reads them, we will get better…”

“No, if we reads them we will know they hates it!!!”

Just giving you gentle readers a deep insight into the mind of a writer, and yes, before you ask, I really do make the little hissy Andy Serkis voice, sometimes loud enough for the coworkers to hear.  If you’ve spent any time around an indie writer you have probably heard them begging for reviews.  As soon as they get then though, it’s like the sky is falling because, unfortunately, the writer has discovered that not everyone in this world thinks that their masterpiece is more awesome than a rainbow unicorn tyrannosaurus rex playing a steel guitar (I’m sure a trip to Google will find an appropriate image of this).

What causes such insanity?  Why do we beg for pain?  Are all authors masochists?

The short answer is probably not the most romantic.  I’ve come to terms with the fact that I want reviews because it is a double whammy of more money and more potential approval.  If I get more reviews, the all-mighty Amazon promotes me more, and that usually means I make more money.  Ooh, accounting-Gollum Rachel is pleased by this!

On the flip side, every good review makes my ego grow three sizes that day!  I fell loved and wanted and higher than a kite.  We won’t talk about the bad ones, the bad ones kinda sting, but I console myself that even a bad review gets me closer to whatever magic numbers make my book seen by more people.

So there you have it, the nasty little monster in my head (and quite possibly other author’s heads) that makes them beg for reviews. Is it a ground breaking revelation, probably not, but I bet you’ve totally searched for a heavy-metal, rainbow-painted dinosaur with a horn now, and there are far worse things to occupy a Friday afternoon.

P.S. I am working on some new fiction writing and not just talking to myself.